And the Winner Is…


…Nick Norelli of Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth! Yes, I know that Nick gets far too many free books already, but this isn’t just because of his pretty face (he hasn’t got one).  It’s because he puts some actual effort into these things. Witness, for example, his clever theory of Qumramic origins:

“My theory regarding the Qumran community is that they were actually the originators of the Arabic text commonly referred to as the Qur’an.  Anyone who has ever had a look at the Dead Sea Scrolls realize how fragmentary the texts are.  It is only logical to conclude that as the Qumran settlers traveled east into the lands of Jordan, Arabia, and Iraq that they carried their scrolls with them, one of those scrolls being a text of manifold wickedness, a collection of detestable sayings gathered from the various pagans they had come across in their journeys, and this text of course was marked by the name of the community, ‘Qumran,’ but due to the dry climate of the Middle East and the centuries of time that had elapsed between their original travels east and the uprising of Muhammad, this wretched document of demonic dreck deteriorated, and once discovered by the illiterate Muhammad its fragmentary title read ‘Quran.’  So this is to say that the Qumran community were the keepers of records of all sorts, records that have since been lost and found and co-opted for all kinds of insane purposes.  The Qumran community were the pre-Arabian librarians of the ancient Mediterranean.”

Fascinating, and dare I say, persuasive! Well, congratulations to Nick, whose book will be in the mail shortly. And if you didn’t win today, do not be discouraged: there is another giveaway coming in just a couple of weeks!

15 responses to “And the Winner Is…

  1. I’d like to thank the Academy, and above all, Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior of my life, the lover of my soul, the eternal Son of God, second person of the Holy Trinity, begotten of the Father, the one from whom the Holy Spirit most certainly does NOT proceed! Oh, and I’d like to thank Esteban for using equal weights and measures and judging my theory the best. I’d also like to thank Kevin Edgecomb for being Greek Orthodox and a heck of a nice guy, and of course I’d like to thank Nancy for her constant words of encouragement. I’d also like to note (for the record) that because I won the prize I will not have to hate anyone else who entered since in effect they did not ruin my chances. God be with you all, amen.


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  3. Kevin> Well, it sure sounds inspired by something! ;-) But I do stand by it, even though I admit that Nick’s theory is, um, persuasive.

    Nancy> Nick should learn from you — he repeatedly states that he hates anyone who wins that isn’t him! ;-)

    Nick> Well, congrats once again, my friend! I think I have your mailing address still, but you might shoot me an email with it just to be on the safe side. I’ll mail it as soon as I have the chance.

    Oh, and gotta love your acceptance speeches. Heh. :-)


  4. You know, Nick probably came up with that theory watching UFC and drinking Pepsi, so I can’t endorse your choice wholeheartedly…besides, my social networking idea was much cooler.

    Anyway, a half-hearted congrats to Nick.


  5. Peter> You’re probably right, of course, but I forgive Nick and try to hold neither of those things against him. Go thou and do likewise. ;-)

    Aaron> I recognize that your theory was clever, and the illustration was a nice touch; unfortunately for you, however, my choice for Dark Lord is Xenu, not Cthulhu (though I did briefly consider voting for the latter in this past election). But do not despair: the next giveaway is also a Biblical studies book!

    Jeff> Aww, shucks! I’ll try harder next time.


  6. Peter: Actually, I came up with it during my travels to the third heaven, whether it was in the body or out of the body I cannot say. But I can confirm that in the third heaven there are rivers of living Pepsi and the UFC is on all the time.

    Kevin: Thanks!

    Jeff: Thanks! This one interests me because of all the talk of the canon in there. I do believe that I’m going to do a couple of weeks of teaching on the canon at some point in the near future so this will be helpful.


  7. Pingback: In the Mail « Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth

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